It happened again!

In Egypt, again! This time, the Christians are protecting the Muslims.

Look at us now! We are all so scared.

Get ‘em while they’re young.

Teenage life is filled with so much angst and nefarious temptations. You’ve got your premarital hand-holding, your Boone’s Farm Friday night mixers, and those burgeoning Juggalo communes which have riddled this country with so many grease-painted faces.

 

 

Luckily for all of us, some teenagers in Arizona are taking a stand against the filth overwhelming America and have found a higher calling…in demonology. This is about 1% adorable and 99% terrifying. I trust you’re intelligent enough to figure out why.

 

 

Meet Reverend Bob Larson’s Teenage Exorcist Girl Squad. Look out, Teen Witch.

 

 

 

 

Bob Larson – whose fire-and-brimstone anti-demon freak show has seen its fair share of controversy — spoke with The Daily Mail a few weeks ago about his five nubile, bright-eyed, young demon-crushers, whom he trained at his Spiritual Freedom Church.

 

 

While Larson does have hundreds of exorcists at his disposal, he maintains that this ingenue team is particularly proficient at compelling the power of christ.

Think of it more of an exorcist franchise

[...]

The Church just can’t keep up with demand. But I have 100 teams of trained exorcists working all over the world, and outbreaks of demonic possession are getting out of control.

Our phone lines are ringing constantly – we receive up to 1,000 individual requests monthly, and we travel to countries like Africa, Ukraine, England and even Australia.

[...]

We have found that our female, teenage exorcists are particularly effective at curing the possessed [via The Daily Mail]

 

 

Larson’s own daughter, Brynne, is among the Reverend’s crack team of Teenage Prudent Girls. Sadly, though, the life of a pre-collegiate exorcist doesn’t leave room for much leisure time. When you spend your days off exorcising a woman “of an evil curse, after she was cursed by a Nigerian witchdoctor over the Internet” (The Daily Mail‘s words. I couldn’t make something like that up.), there’s just no time for ogling that sparkling hunk of ice, Edward Cullen:

I think Harry Potter and Twilight are instigators of evil [...] I don’t watch any television at all. I’m much too busy praying and fighting the devil.

 

 

Now, disregard the thick undertones of smugness that arise any time you hear someone say, “I don’t watch any television.” Brynne REALLY is all business. She executed her first exorcism at the age of “13, in Africa, on a man possessed by terrible demons.” She then roped her friends into her dad’s demonology racket after performing an exorcism on one of her classmates.

 

 

Peer pressure, it can be used for just about anything!

 

 

By the way…This is what you get when you google “Teenage Exorcist.”

 

If you get scared, you can skip to 1:11 and thank me later.

 

 

 

People are weird.

Music Makes Things Awesome

Have a good weekend everyone.

(Via Reddit)

The difference between denial and faith.

This post is brought to you by Feministing. Here we have a priceless video of Texas Governor and Presidential hopeful, Rick Perry, trying to convince the viewer to ignore his state’s high rates of teenage pregnancy and just trust him that his continued use of an abstinence only sex-education policy works.

 

This clip is from an interview Perry did with Evan Smith of the Texas Tribune in October, 2010.

 

Observe.

 

“Umm….[dead air]…ummm.” Straw man. Red herring. False analogy. Annnnnnnd question dodged! Phew!

 

Keep in mind, I think the fact that this man is still in office says more about a majority of Texans than it does about him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fantastic politician, but he’s a shitty voice of the people.

 

I do have a bit of a correction to bring to the table. Smith asks why the governor continues to promote policies that simply tell kids not to have sex when the state has the third-highest teen pregnancy rate in the US. The state actually appears to rank fourth in teen pregnancy, but still ranks third in teen birth rates. A hollow victory.

 

Which brings me to my point. First Perry insists that, “Abstinence works,” despite being presented with evidence to the contrary. The audience, rightfully, laughs at him. Then he argues that maybe the problem is “the way it’s being taught or the way it’s being applied out there,” or that educators simply aren’t “impressing it upon them” hard enough. Then he notes that in his own personal experience, abstinence has worked.

 

This has all the tell-tale signs of an argument over faith. It always goes a little something like this…

 

Someone claims, “What I believe is true.”

 

After being presented evidence to the contrary, that someone says, “But what I believe is still true.”

 

After being laughed at and/or having the evidence presented again, that someone says, “Well, maybe it seems untrue because everyone else isn’t believing it correctly.”

 

Then, in a last ditch effort to give one’s faith-based beliefs some credibility, in lieu of actual evidence, experiential evidence is offered…Always.

 

This sounds like, “I can’t speak for everyone else. Alls I can tell you is what I believe has worked for me.”

 

I have no problem with the Governor believing what ever he wants to believe. What I do have a problem with is that voice of the people continuing to force those beliefs upon his constituents after it has been demonstrated to not work for everyone else.

 

There is no difference between denial and faith. There was a time that I made all of the same statements as Governor Rick. There was a time that I cast denial aside. There was a time when I was just like a majority of Texas. Some people are comfortable with this. Some of my best friends are OK with this, and I am content to leave them alone on the issue. Personally, I was not and am not comfortable with it.

I Can’t Title This.

Earlier this month, you may remember, I mentioned some good news in the middle of the shitstorm that has been American politics. This was a welcome relief for anyone who cares about women’s health.

In short…

On August 1, 2011, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) adopted additional Guidelines for Women’s Preventive Services — including well-woman visits, support for breastfeeding equipment, contraception, and domestic violence screening — that will be covered without cost sharing in new health plans starting in August 2012. The guidelines were recommended by the independent Institute of Medicine (IOM) and based on scientific evidence.

Sounds GREAT, right? And it’s about damn time. Who could possibly be upset about helping women?

I’m glad you asked.

Heads of The Illinois Family Institute read that paragraph and instantly felt that everything the loved, cherished, and valued was under attack.

Below is the headline for the email alert they sent out:

Scary, right? Like Uncle Sam is going to hand you a baby and a knife just to see what you’ll do. You can go change your underwear now.

True to form, the IFI’s alert is chock full of wisdom…

Why should every American be forced to subsidize the destruction of human life through abortifacients especially when there is a more effective and surer way to avoid unwanted pregnancies — abstinence? Why should Americans have to pay for sexual risk-taking or irresponsible behavior?

Yeah…SUCK IT, women who are married or in a committed relationship but are not yet ready for a child! Take your libido and your hormones back to church where they belong. You can suck it too, rape victims.

Maybe the IFI has a point. I mean, surely Health and Human Services has nothing to say about whether or not it’s subsidizing abortifacient drugs, right?

Women will have access to all Food and Drug Administration-approved contraceptive methods, sterilization procedures, and patient education and counseling. These recommendations do not include abortifacient drugs. (Via)

…Oh.

So the IFI is wrong…but I think they know it, because they double down and address that issue head-on…

These abortifacient drugs act to break down the lining of the uterus so that it is either unreceptive to implantation by a fertilized ovum or unable to sustain an implanted embryo — killing a newly conceived human being.

In other words, these drugs stop a baby from happening…which is murder…because, before it has the chance to become a baby, it doesn’t become a baby! So…they’re human beings, get it? This is an OUTRAGE!

Obviously, the IFI is being misleading about the abortion thing. But what about when they bring up the notion that EVERY health insurance plan now has to cover these pseudo-abortion-drugs?

This means that every health insurance plan will be required to cover “emergency contraceptives” or “morning-after pills” such as Plan B.

Surely, Health and Human Services has no rebuttal for that claim, right?

Group health plans sponsored by certain religious employers, and group health insurance coverage in connection with such plans, are exempt from the requirement to cover contraceptive services. A religious employer is one that: (1) has the inculcation of religious values as its purpose; (2) primarily employs persons who share its religious tenets; (3) primarily serves persons who share its religious tenets; and (4) is a non-profit organization under Internal Revenue Code section 6033(a)(1) and section 6033(a)(3)(A)(i) or (iii). 45 C.F.R. §147.130(a)(1)(iv)(B). See the Federal Register Notice: Group Health Plans and Health Insurance Issuers Relating to Coverage of Preventive Services under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PDF – 108 KB)

…Oh.

A religious exemption. So actually, not EVERY healthcare plan has to cover the contraception services. Hmph.

Well…what does the IFI have to say next? Maybe they can scare some homeschool parents into a frenzy with this little nugget!

Media reports claim that the Obama administration has incorporated an amendment to the new regulations that permit religious institutions that provide health insurance coverage to exempt themselves from the contraceptive mandate. But if you don’t happen to work for a religious institution, you have no individual conscience rights.

Hold on a second. You mean to tell me that if I work in a public institution, my religious label isn’t going to grant me any special treatment?! This too is an OUTRAGE!

Kathleen Sebelius of HHS gave a rousing defense of the act. You can find that here. And Stephen Colbert threw in his 2¢. You can find that here…

The saddest part of all of this is that some of the very women who will need to take advantage of these contraceptive services are the daughters of IFI members — they’re among those who know the least about safe sex and the most likely to be at risk of an unplanned pregnancy. As much as I’d love to see IFI patriarchs pledge that their families will never take advantage of these HHS services (if that option applies to them), that would only hurt the women who need these services most.

Bill Maher says…

Since no one is truly happy living a lie and denying who they really are, I want to direct this rule at a certain group of people and say to them, it’s time to stop fighting it and just come out of the closet. The group I’m talking about is the American public, and the love that they’re denying is their love of socialism.

 

Now, I know that there are few words in America more toxic than socialist, and these days, big government spending is about as popular as Casey Anthony at a Chuck E. Cheese.

 

Yes, Americans say they hate socialism, but when it comes to Social Security, Medicare, unemployment, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, corporate welfare, bailouts, and farm subsidies, what we really say to socialism is, “I can’t quit you.”

 

Americans don’t want less spending on health care; by almost 2:1 they want more.  Only 7% of Americans are willing to do away with either Social Security or Medicare, and even 62% of Tea Party members say those programs are worth the cost.  Yet 91% of them say they want smaller government with fewer services.  They’re like the guy who’s been to prison and says, sure, “I gargle with a guy’s balls every once in a while, and there’s nothing I love more than ass play with other men, but you know who I can’t stand?  Fags.”

 

Remember this guy, the “keep your government hands off my Medicare” guy?  He’s not alone.  In one survey, 40% of people who get Medicare say they have not used a government program. Really?!

 

Craig T. Nelson once said about hitting some rough spots in his life that, “I’ve been on welfare and food stamps, but anybody help me out?  No!”

 

Or take Michele and Marcus Bachmann…Yes, the Bachmanns; tireless advocates of cutting people off from the government tit. Well, it turns out they live on the tit.  Their farm [Rick Perry's too] takes farm subsidies, their counseling clinic takes Medicaid, and their mortgage was underwritten by Freddie Mac.  Michele knows civil servants are evil because she was an IRS agent…

 

Come on, if hypocrisy was uranium, they could power the planet.

 

This is what’s so hard about being a closeted lover of big government.  You have to lie to yourself.  But that’s why I’m here tonight, with a special message for all you deniers.

 

It Gets Better.

 

Yes, there are millions of people in the world just like you, in nice places like Switzerland and Sweden.  They enjoy high standards of living and freedom, and they’re socialists.  Studies show they’re actually happier than we are, and that’s not surprising, because the only difference between American socialism and European socialism is, European socialism works.

 

For their tax dollars, Europeans get full health care coverage, a generous pension, daycare, long paid vacations, maternity leave, free college, and public transportation that doesn’t smell like pee.

 

Whereas our tax dollars go towards military bases in Germany, subsidies to oil companies, building bridges to nowhere, wars, and putting half of Cheech and Chong in prison.

 

They get universal health care, we get a Blue Angels flyover at the Fiesta Bowl.

 

They get paid maternity leave, we get the Octomom.

 

They’ve got Airbus, we’ve got the bus.

 

Isn’t there anything we still do better?

 

Even their paranoid racist loners look like speed skaters.

 

And ours look like Porky Pig.

It’s not all bad news.

Some encouraging news stories got lost in the shuffle of this week’s debt ceiling news bonanza-stravaganza. At the federal level, women who want access to basic reproductive health care have the upper hand on those who would seek to limit their options. In response to the results of a recent study, the Obama Administration announced a new regulation requiring that health insurance companies provide birth control to women with insurance without a copay. Another development, this time from the judicial branch, came Monday when a U.S. circuit judge granted an injunction against a Kansas law. The overturned law, passed in June, effectively blocked Planned Parenthood locations in the state from getting government funding. Now they can again. Cool.

 

These federal actions have huge societal implications. From a purely economic standpoint, the United States stands to benefit from providing easier access to birth control. Research suggests, “every $1 invested in public dollars for contraception saves $3.74 in Medicaid expenditures that otherwise would have been needed to provide pregnancy-related care (prenatal, labor, delivery and postpartum care) for women’s unintended births, as well as one year of medical care for their infants.” Considering this statistic and the dangerously ballooning costs of healthcare in the United States, it seems obvious that investment in reproductive health should be part of the federal government’s portfolio. Removing barriers — even something as minimal as a $15 copay — could have a significant impact, as suggested by a recent study which highlights that lower-income California women were three times as likely to have a state-funded abortion when receiving recurring three-month supplies of birth control pills, rather than the one-year alternative.

 

In short, broad and easy access to birth control lowers Medicaid expenditures to less than a third of original costs and actually lowers abortion rates by 2/3rds…or 67%. Since the previous solutions proposed by the religious on the Right only served to create a larger problem (i.e. no legal abortions whatsoever, no access to birthcontrol whatsoever, Planned Parenthood is the devil, registering your pregnancy with the state, prosecution of mothers who miscarry, etc.), it should be easy to see why everybody (right and left) wins here. This is what a compromise looks like.

 

Of course, these figures cannot fully convey the importance of women’s’ health programs to those who use them. Planned Parenthood’s services extend well beyond basic contraception and abortion; the organization provides comprehensive gynecological care to those in need. Thanks to the regulation,

“Insurers [will also now] be required to provide contraceptive services, breast-feeding support and supplies, domestic violence screening and counseling, regular ‘well woman’ visits, counseling about HIV and sexually transmitted infections, screening for gestational diabetes, and several other preventive services without charging women any copayments.”

 

By supporting programs like Planned Parenthood and an enforced no-copay policy for basic women’s health-related services, the federal government will be making an immeasurable difference in the lives of many.

 

I don’t expect the Pro-life crowd to admit that this act, providing free contraception, may be one of the most effective actions taken by a President to stop abortions in the history of this nation when the issue undoubtedly comes up in next year’s election. A shocking amount of people just cannot seem to understand that the most effective way to prevent abortions is to prevent pregnancy.

 

Still…it should be of some comfort that, in the midst of one of the most blatant examples of unreason in our country’s history, we are working to ensure reasonable healthcare for women across the nation.

 

 

 

It’s not all bad news, folks.

How many times can two guys be wrong in 60 seconds?

Let’s see.

Pat: Tell me what it is about the media today that seems to be in favor of radical Islam? [WRONG] Why do they want to put down anybody who tells the truth about this organi…this uhh…cult?

[WRONGish. No one has actually told the truth yet. And sure, I'll grant that this could be called a "cult," but for Pat to use this dog whistle, it seems more like he's just calling the kettle black.]

Robert: Well, I tell ya, I think the unpleasant truth about it is, is that the media, being hard left [WRONG], is essentially anti-American [WRONG]. And so anything that’s American, that’s Western, that’s Christian, that’s Judeo-Christian, they hate [WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, and WRONG]. And so they see Islam and it’s non-western and non-christian, and they love it.

[WRONG. This is a false dichotomy. Love and hate. West and not West. Christian and Islamic. We are 27 seconds in.]

 

Pat: Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s out there…you know…you…ask the media this country: What in heaven’s name is wrong with you? Are you so anti-American [buzzword]? Are you so opposed to this great nation [buzzword] and the freedoms [buzzword] you have, that you want to embrace something out of the eighth century, B.C. [WRONG] that…uh…restricts the role of women, and uhhh…causes uhh…hideous fighting jihad [dog whistle] killing of innocent civilians [dog whistle]? Why do you embrace that? You ask yourself the media in America, why do you embrace that? You’re living in the freest, nicest, most…beautiful nation on earth. What’s wrong with you?! Wake up! *smirk*

[Ok. So in case you aren't aware, the Islamic calender begins in the year 622, e.g. the 7th century CE. In case you also hadn't heard..."this great nation" has done quite a bit of "killing innocent civilians," "restricting the role of women," and "hideous fighting." And always with the backing and support of the talking heads of christianity. While we're on christianity, Pat tried an appeal to ridicule on those who embrace an outdated tradition, when he, in fact, embraces a far more outdated tradition.]

People give money to this guy.

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